Added: Renesha Hamdan - Date: 23.12.2021 09:32 - Views: 19384 - Clicks: 7509
The prevailing emotion is frustration. Or, if they do have a clue, men feel the expectations are too high. Women, on the other hand, are frustrated because they want men to take initiative, to lead. They want to be led by Christ-centered men.
How should Christian men and women move toward deeper friendship, possibly even engagement and marriage? It takes a man to be an initiator. However, this will never happen until Godly single men, as a man, accept your God-given role—an acceptance that includes:. This may sound old-fashioned, but I believe Godly single men not for the sake of tradition, which of necessity comes and goes, but because it is biblical.
Marriage is meant to be, among other things, an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church Ephesians 5 ; the husband typifies Christ and the wife typifies the church. This is not an empowerment that mystically comes over a man at his wedding, but part of his inherent nature. If a man shirks relational leadership prior to marriage, chances are slim that he will properly assume it after. Several months after my wife died, I was talking with a friend who is also a wise and loving pastor.
He wanted to help protect me from too quickly getting involved in another relationship—a common problem for men who are divorced or widowed. My advice: Lock them in a secure room for six months. A man who wants to be godly and who means to prepare himself for a wholesome, meaningful relationship has his work cut out for him.
The Jewish young men of the Old Testament intentionally prepared themselves for marriage. In addition to becoming skilled in a trade that would support a family, these men saved their resources in order to pay a dowry to their future in-laws, and generally built their own dwellings. The latter was often done in the time between engagement and marriage.
Taking a wife was a serious commitment, one that demanded earnest preparation. I merely wish Godly single men point out that healthy marriages are seasoned with preparation. If a man wants to find the right person he needs to be the right person, and that takes concentrated effort that is best begun before there is a potential mate on the scene. If a man is serious about walking with Christ, and serious about wanting to be the right kind of husband and father someday, how should he prepare himself? A man should prepare himself morally. Our culture, even our Christian subculture, has become enamored with sex.
One would think that sex is all there is to happiness and fulfillment.
Men who are unguarded in their intake of viewing and reading material set themselves up to be disappointed and to be a disappointment. Moral behavior requires a moral mindset—the discipline to shut off the supply of impurity. Why not take a day media fast? For the next 40 days, leave the television off, do not attend or rent movies, and use the Internet only as your job may require. If a conversation begins Godly single men toward immoral topics, excuse yourself.
These 40 days may prove to be some of the best days of your spiritual development. See immorality for what it is: a weapon of the enemy deed for your destruction. So choose your friends carefully; connect with men who care about your growth and standing as a follower of Christ. Be honest with them about your habits Godly single men struggles.
Let them know what you are doing to try to grow spiritually so they can pray for you, hold you able, and get in your face when necessary. A man should prepare himself financially. Men should aspire to financial stability. I am suggesting, however, that a man who is disciplined in his work ethic and wise with his resources is better prepared for courtship and marriage than one who is impulsive and discontent. The kind of lady you want will be drawn to your character, not the model year of your car or the square footage of your house. More importantly, God is honored by the wise use of every resource He lends you, whether dollars in your wallet or hours in your workday.
Some who read this may be in debt or out of work, and the current financial picture is bleak. Are you a hopeless cause? But you need to focus on what you can do to improve your situation. What steps can you take, under the leadership of the Lord, to move toward financial freedom and gainful employment? Get yourself situated and moving forward.
A man should prepare himself spiritually. Finding myself single again after being married for over eighteen years, I confronted a question that we must all wrestle with in the face of any loss: Is God enough for me? Until we can answer in the affirmative, we would be wise to suspend seeking another relationship. Loneliness is difficult, but it is not sufficient reason to pursue a Godly single men. Loneliness in its rawest form can make us very self-centered. Therefore any relationship we en out of sheer loneliness holds only ourselves, or mostly ourselves, at the center.
Whether consciously or subconsciously, we seek to medicate our wound through the presence of another person. This is neither fair to them nor healthy for us. Remember men, we are to be Christ-like. That means we are not seeking to be loved but to love. Love that is self-centered is really not love at all. Better to come to grips with this now and have God form genuine love Godly single men our hearts than to enter into a relationship that hurts both individuals and misrepresents Christ. So how does a man prepare himself spiritually?
By seeking God with all his Godly single men. To do this, he must embrace his loneliness, grief, disappointment, hurt—any and all circumstances that have brought him to this place of aloneness. Embracing the hurt ushers in the comfort, and comfort is delivered by God Himself.
Spend more time in prayer. Spend more time studying the Bible. Read Christian literature that instructs and edifies. Attend Bible study or discussion groups. Involve yourself in service. Step out of the world of self-pity and into a life that is marked by Kingdom purposes and activities.
Give more than you take. Understand that real men are leaders and real leaders are servants. Spiritual development also involves the building of a prayer life. Speaking of which, it is surprising how few men actually ask God for a wife. Of all things, why would we leave this matter off our prayer list? Perhaps some would argue that it is unspiritual to pray about such a thing, that if God intends us to be married we should disengage from the process and allow Him to override our neutrality.
A man should prepare himself relationally. Beware of two relationship-killers: over-aggression and passivity. In the past the Godly single men was the likelier culprit; these days however, the latter seems more common. When it comes to male-female friendships, which is where any meaningful relationship begins, men are increasingly stolid.
Some of this is no doubt due to Godly single men hang-ups or bad experiences. But much of it is, in my opinion, the result of two widespread phenomena. First, the past few generations have provided fewer and fewer positive examples of what a Christian marriage can be. Second, manhood has been under siege. Women have been encouraged to be stronger, to stand up for themselves and revolt against male domination. In some instances this may have been both appropriate and necessary. However, as a cultural wave it has created a harmful undertow: the erosion of manhood.
Regardless the reasons, it is time for men to become manly again. I am saying, however, that Christian men need to be motivated toward building proper relationships with Christian women. This is the de and intent of God. Clearly marriage is part of His will for most men and women. Do not rush into it, but do not hide from it either. There is a time to involve trusted members of the body of Christ in your personal business, and your dating life should be one of those occasions.
Connect with some married couples whom you respect, and ask them to pray with you about this matter. If you are interested in a Godly single men lady, ask them to pray about whether you should initiate contact with her.
Get their counsel on how to proceed, and be open to Godly single men cautions. Perhaps you need to work on your physical condition for the sake of health, not vanity. Perhaps there are interpersonal rifts that you need to mend or personal disciplines you need to establish. Anything that stands in the way of your wholehearted devotion to Christ also obstructs your candidacy for relational intimacy.
Wisdom says: Deal with these matters sooner rather than later. In other words, the man was not on a hunting expedition, intent on finding a wife, trapping her, and dragging her home. Rather, while on a purposeful journey he met her, recognized that she was a godsend, and won her heart. As we men journey through life, seeking God and going about the tasks He has given us with diligence and faithfulness, Godly single men is within reason to believe that God will bring the right woman across our path. Let us make sure, then, that we are on the right journey. FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Blended.
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