My boyfriend wants to be just friends

Added: Julianna Oja - Date: 22.12.2021 06:12 - Views: 33770 - Clicks: 5746

We have lots of great conversations, we'd love you to us. Tonight, my boyfriend of 7 months told me he feels our relationship going back to more of a "friendship" we were really good friends for a long time before going out.

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It was in a text message, which i didnt get until now because i was sleeping, so i havent talked to him yet. The last few weeks, he was affecionate kissing, cuddling as always but not anything like making out or higher, which we had oppurtunity to i suppose but didn't, which usually wouldnt be the case.

I felt like we didnt spend enough alone time together with just me and him but i dont want to be quick to blame it on that. He said he wants to be good friends, like me and my best friend aaron, who is like a brother to me and he knows that. Me and aaron are together all the time, talk all the time, so i suppose thats what he wants? He also says he misses being single. My boyfriend wants to be just friends that he doesnt want to hurt me and that that is the last thing he wants to do.

I know he still cares about me and wants me to be in his life but im confused on something. Im not sure if he only feels feelings of friendship toward me OR if it was just the relationship getting too close to being a friendship and he needs some space from the actual relationship to figure out what he wants. I know i havent talked to him yet, but i need some insight and advice to what is going on.

And i also need help with what to do at school when i usually see him, because im not ready to be jumping into being his "best friend", like we were long before. I have him in my history class, we sit next to each other. Please help me. I dont want to lose him. One: Talk to him. We don't know you, we don't know him, and we don't know your context. Specific advice is not going to be forthcoming. Two: Exactly how old are you two? If you're in high school--and it sounds to me like you probably are--I really wouldn't be taking any of this too seriously.

Neither of you has any idea My boyfriend wants to be just friends you are or are going to be. Drama much? If you're in college, yeah, things can be a get more serious there, because you'd theoretically be in a position where being serious about someone is a possibility.

But even then, chill. Because three: If you make any one person the key to your happiness, you will never be happy, because people are exactly that: people. We're all flawed, will screw up, and can never possibly live up to the kinds of expectations we put on each other. If you aren't okay by yourself, adding another person to the equation isn't going to change that.

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So four: take a deep breath, talk to this guy, and recognize that no matter how My boyfriend wants to be just friends pans out, it's not the end of the world, and you'll be okay. If you need to spend a weekend crying and eating ice cream with your girlfriends, feel free to do so, but don't mope. It ain't worth it. The way I read this is that he doesn't want to hurt you, but he wants something maybe another girl, a cooling off period, etc. Sorry, but it's gonna hurt. It's okay to not like that. Seek support elsewhere.

Don't feel you owe him that best-friend status he's asking for. If you don't know what's going on in his mind, we really won't know. But, you can look at what he's told you: He does not want to be in a relationship with you, and he doesn't want to hurt you.

There's no need to try to understand it any further, because you are now not in a relationship with him. Believe him when he says he wants out.

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The wildly popular advise on this site is: Believe what people tell you about themselves. You will save yourself a lot of grief in life if you learn this. A bit of advice: Wailing "But whyyyy! I promise. So, it hurts. There's been a bit of teasing about your possible youth. But we've all been there, and it hurts to not have someone you love, love you back -- whether you are 12 orit hurts. He's made a counter-proposal: Friends.

You can accept this or reject it.

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If it were me, I'd counter the counter-proposal by saying you'd like to be friends after a period of time to get over him romantically. There's nothing wrong with needing a cooling-off period at the end of a romantic relationship before renewing a friendship. The school year has just started.

Focus on your schoolwork, after-school activities, hanging out with old friends, and making new friends. Maybe give yourself a deadline: You'll give yourself a break from all contact with him until, say, Christmas, and then make a decision about whether to be friends with him or not at that time. I recommend Christmas because it usually takes about half the relationship time to get over someone. You were with him for 7 months, so give yourself about 3.

My boyfriend wants to be just friends you can do better. Breaking up by text message is a totally uncool, immature, and cowardly move. You may not see it now, but you deserve better. I'm sure the collective wisdom here will agree upon many things, but probably most important for you right now is: 1. Yeah, you should talk with him. Don't make it heavy; just hear him out. Of course he likes you; you're eminently likable but he's just not wanting to make this an exclusive relationship. That's cool. It will get better. These types of things do really suck, but it won't always. You really will survive this.

Good luck, and I hope you are already in the process of moving on. In my experience, ificant relationships between people do not start with explicit proposals and donning of titles. Exactly how old are you two? Aw, even though this might in hindsight appear to be true to OP, it still really, really hurts to lose someone that you care about, or to be dumped. Maybe doubly so the first couple times you fall in love.

OP, I'm sorry your ex's behavior and choices have hurt you. You could ask him why he's making these choices, and ask for clarification, but I think the smartest thing you could do is ask for space. You've said it yourself--you're not ready to be just friends--and your emotional attachment could cause you to make choices that, deep down, you're not really comfortable with--being quasi-together, being friends-with-benefits, etc. Tell him you need a couple weeks before hanging out. He might hem and haw about it, but it's up to you, as the dumped party, to protect yourself and look out for your own needs.

Spend some time with real, platonic friends. Take care of yourself. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this right now. It sounds like he cares about you, but this relationship is not what he wants or can handle right now right now. It sounds like the intensity and depth of the commitment might be too much for him at this point in his life. This doesn't make him a bad guy, but it hurts to be on the receiving end of this decision. I agree that you should give him his space, and also take some space for yourself. You might be able to be good friends someday, but you will need some time apart, not interacting to make that transition.

The two of you have developed a way of interacting over these past 7 months that is not conducive to being "just friends" without some time to adjust to your new dynamic. Acknowledge his decision, and then ask for him to give you some time and space to accept this. I understand that you don't want to lose him, and this is just going to suck, but it will get better.

As frustrating as it is, it just takes time. Right now, hang out with your other friends, treat yourself to something which could be as simple as an ice cream sundae or a pedicure, and let yourself be angry or sad sometimes because letting those upset feelings out is the first My boyfriend wants to be just friends in smiling again. Good luck! You sound young. So if you're under 30, listen to the cranky old people here: this won't matter later.

Really, it My boyfriend wants to be just friends. So don't beat yourself up too much over it right now. Or he might be indeed cooling off on the whole relationship thing. As you'll learn over and over again later Ironically, both of those involve forgetting about hot-sex all the time, and thinking about boring things like friendship and making each other laugh.

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It doesn't have to be a bad thing. But you won't know until you talk So be friends for awhile, see what happens, and whatever you do There are many, many long-term outcomes here, and many of them are good ones. It's not a black and white thing. And when you talk A lot. This is going to sound harsh, but maybe he wants something from you that you haven't given him, and he's over trying to get it from you.

The wording of your question is very unclear; I can't tell from it if you've had sex with him or not. You sound young, and you sound like someone who takes it slow, and I've been in that exact situation. My boyfriend at My boyfriend wants to be just friends time was just downright fed up with waiting for me to be ready, and wanted to break it off so he could play the field without guilt, and preserve me as a friend.

If this turns out to be your case, he wasn't worth your time or worry, and you should do your best not to let it affect your personal choices in the future. Either way the situation sucks. He seems to have dumped you by text a classless thing to do with little warning or explanation. But try your best not to get outraged and irrational, or scared and hating yourself.

Sit down with him and figure out the best course of action for the both of you.

My boyfriend wants to be just friends

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